


Choices

by agcntsimmons



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 19:00:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agcntsimmons/pseuds/agcntsimmons
Summary: She never asked for it. Melinda May didn’t want fame, or the names and the stories spread out in her line of work. It was all out of her control, and it certainly wasn’t her choice to have the majority of people in the CIA know about her tale.Melinda May CIA AU one-shot.





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Melinda May is a widowed former Specialist Agent for the CIA, still active but as an administrative officer.
> 
> Some details from the show are changed. Daisy was recruited earlier and was May's protege. Imagine this May to be her Season 1 self, but is more caring and open to Daisy. Just Daisy.

She never asked for it. Melinda May didn’t want fame, or the names and the stories spread out in her line of work. It was all out of her control, and it certainly wasn’t her choice to have the majority of people in the CIA know about her tale. Nothing she could have done would make it vanish or quiet down. She heard the nickname ‘The Warrior’ going around for quite some time, and yes, it sounded compelling, but she didn’t actually know there were stories, _made up stories_ , about her and her infamous mission.

That being said, it was actually funny how almost everyone knew the story without knowing who _actually_ did it. The field mission was years ago, and after that she was the unnamed legendary female agent from the Specialist division. It’s the CIA she’s talking about, an _Intelligence Agency_ , communications was deemed a fundamental unit.

If there was one thing everyone should know about her, it’s that Melinda was not one to dwell on gossips. She heard whispers about what went down in Bahrain. Yet, none of them were right. Melinda being Melinda, she kept her silence. She only talk when necessary, and that skill was very rarely needed when an agent’s duty is at the administration office. It was quiet, yet very loud at the same time; the sound of keyboards clicking, staplers snapping, pens scratching, and phones ringing.

It was a place to hide from pitying eyes and useless questions asking about her well-being. Here she was safe from social interaction, no one tried to engage her in a conversation or looked at her with sadness in their eyes. She was absolutely no one here, not even ‘The Warrior’ or Melinda May. That person was long gone and now she’s a whole new character in the same embodiment.  It was all she needed, a little peace in the time of chaos.

That was, until the phone on her own desk rang. That never happened before. She worked in what she called _‘the paper department’_ therefore she very rarely use phones. Swallowing the anxious feeling of someone figuring The Warrior out, she kept a straight face, cleared her throat and picked up the phone.

“Administration.”

“Agent Melinda May?” A young voice answered carefully.

“Myself.”

“Yes. Ma’am, you have been requested for a field op–” _Oh, no no no no. No. Definitely not. I’m not going back into the field._

“Declined.”

“But ma’am, the op is lead by Agent Daisy Johnson. Perhaps–” _Wait, Daisy? Daisy wanted her to join her for an op?_

“Mission objective?” Melinda replied curtly.

“WMD recon in Southeast Asia.” The voice responded with a hint of exasperation. _We’re still dealing with weapons of mass destruction nowadays?_

“Tell Agent Johnson I accept the request.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The Agent on the phone told her the time and rendezvous point for the mission briefing before hanging up the call.

Melinda sighed and rested her face in her hands. _What are you up to, Daisy? What did I just agreed to do?_

 

* * *

 

Melinda arrived at the briefing five minutes early and found herself entering a briefing room that was occupied by two young agents, arguing very loudly and quickly.

“I was told we were going to Indonesia not Mala- whatever it is you were talking about!”

“No, Jemma. I was sure they said Malaysia, I did some research and–”

“Well, Fitz if you were researching for the wrong thing it wouldn’t be–”

A loud sound of someone clearing their throat stopped the female agent from finishing her argument.

“Do you mind?” Melinda said, deeply annoyed. _Where is Daisy, anyway?_

“Oh! Sorry, we didn’t realize you were there,” The female agent smiled brightly. “I’m Jemma Simmons, biochemist.”

“Leo Fitz, engineering.”

“Great to know your names. Now, please keep it down,” Melinda instructed quietly. “Do any of you know where Agent Johnson is?”

“We were told to go here at 9. We haven’t seen her yet,” Fitz said while checking on the corridors.

For what seems like half an hour, their op leader came rushing into the room, unorganized stack of papers in one hand and a mug of coffee on the other.

“I’m so so sorry. I needed to catch up on some things. I hope you don’t mind.” Daisy said, putting her papers on the nearby table and then went to the screen.

“It’s alright, Dais. Sometimes we lost track of time, too.” Fitz said reassuringly. Melinda frowned at the nickname. _So Daisy knows these two. Interesting._

“Mel! I was so glad you accepted!” Daisy grinned happily. “Oh, you guys don’t know each other. Right. So, Mel this is–”

“They introduced themselves to me already, Daisy.” Melinda sighed.

“Huh. Well, guys this is my former Supervising Officer Melinda May, she’s going to be the one piloting our plane.”

“But I thought you were from administration. They told us–” Jemma pried before Daisy cut her off.

“That’s not important right now, Jem. So, shall we?” Daisy gestured the screen.

The briefing started and Melinda felt a significant amount of relief since her job is only to pilot the plane. After all, a basic reconnaissance team usually consists of a scientist, a specialist and a skilled driver if there was any need for urgent escape. They have two scientists, one active specialist and one pilot but also a backup specialist on their team. They should be fine. It was just information gathering. _And investigation_. She just needed to have a long conversation with Daisy and then she could go home and contemplate on all of this.

“Daisy? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

 

* * *

 

“What is all of this about, Daisy?” Melinda started as they walked out of the briefing room. Fitz and Jemma had left way earlier and now it’s just both of them left. “Why now? Why me? Don’t even lie, I know you could've picked any pilot for this.”

Daisy let out an air of frustration. “I can never hide things from you. Even now.”

Melinda narrowed her eyes at the tone. “Well?”

“I…” Daisy stared at the ground and stopped walking. Melinda stopped too. “I missed you, Mel. You’ve been shutting people out. I was worried. And it’s been five years…”

“Oh, Daisy,” Tears started leaking from her former protegé’s eyes. Even with her head ducked Melinda could see the tiny water droplets running down her face.

“I know it isn’t personal, but why Mel? You put your hands off me, said I was ready to go to the field and then they whisked you off to Bahrain and came back as a whole new person!” Daisy’s voice sounded so broken, Melinda felt a pang of sadness seeing her former student like this. She couldn’t even remember the last time they spent time together. She was too busy keeping herself busy in administration and as Daisy said, shutting people out.

Silence cut through the air as they stood in an empty corridor, Melinda rubbing small circles on Daisy’s back.

“What– who,” Daisy stammered, hesitant. “What happened in Bahrain, Melinda?”

“I… I’m not ready to– It’s just,” Melinda’s eyes were hollow, as if all emotion was sucked out of it. Her voice became cold when she said, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready, Daisy. I promise.” The unspoken _you’re like a daughter to me_ hung in the air.

“I don’t know if you read my e-mail, but when Andrew... “ Daisy said awkwardly, looking her dead in the eyes. “I’m so sorry about Andrew, Melinda. I know it’s years late, but–”

“Thank you, Daisy.” _I’m sorry about your mother, too. I know it’s been twenty-five years._

Daisy smiled a watery smile and they walked down the corridor together, arms on each other.

 

* * *

 

The team arrived at Indonesia the next day, with Melinda as the pilot of the small jet. Equipments ready and scientists overexcited, they were all set to go.

“Now, Fitz, Jemma, remember, no loud voices, okay?” Daisy reminded both restless scientists, who apparently have never been in the field. “It’s good enough all of us have dark hair. Everyone’s hair here is black.”

“Okay, we’re set!” Jemma said enthusiastically.

“Yep, all ready to go.” Fitz agreed, less enthusiastic, but excited nonetheless.

“Alright. Wait outside, I gotta talk to Mel for a moment,” Daisy rushed them out calmly. “Mel!”

“Here, Daisy.” Melinda answered from the cockpit. “And stop shouting for Heaven’s sake.”

Daisy smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Um, we’re going to go in now, so comm’s up?”

“Sure. _Please_ be careful, Daisy.” _I can’t lose you, too._

“I will. I’ll be fine, Mel.” Daisy assured her, hand on Melinda’s shoulder. “You trained me, after all. And you’re great, therefore I’ll be too. So, see you later?” She grinned.

“Yes. Now go.” _Don’t be reckless._

Melinda stared at her former student’s back as the figure got out of the cockpit. _What did I just agreed to do?_

 

* * *

 

It was nearing three hours when her comm beeped. Heart racing, Melinda answered the call.

“Daisy?”

The tone of voice she expected wasn’t there. “Mel… It was a false alarm. The weapon disintegrated long before we got here and–”

“Just spit it out, Daisy.” Melinda snapped worriedly.

“Mel, we’re outmatched. Someone got Fitz and a bunch of people in there–”

That was all she needed before grabbing two guns and rushing out of the plane. No one messed with her team and got away with it.

She managed to hotwire a motorcycle and drove past the busy streets to her team’s position, all in the span of fifteen minutes. She saw Daisy and Jemma standing in front of an old and discolored warehouse.

“What happened?” Jemma was openly crying and Daisy looked downcast too.

“Mel, we need backup. It’s way too dangerous and we don’t speak the language, we should–”

“I’m going in. I did this before,” Melinda said confidently. _And look where it got you now,_ her conscience tried to reason. _Do you not remember the last time–_

“Either both of you inform HQ, or Daisy stay with me.” Without any warning, Melinda rushed in with both hands on a gun.

“Mel, wait!” Daisy shouted. “Jemma, go back to the plane. I’ll go after her.”

 

* * *

 

By the time she arrived at the top floor, she got one bruised eye and a heavily busted lip.

She could hear Daisy’s shuffling steps behind her but not close enough to actually see her. She stopped in front of the only door on the floor. _It’ll be best if I wait for Daisy._

“Mel! Are you alright? I wasn’t fast enough and I heard gunshots and _–_ ”

“Daisy! Remember our training. Control. Breathe,” Melinda said very quietly. “I hear activity inside this door,”

Daisy nodded. “On the count of three.”

“Three!” They shouted together and Daisy opened the door to reveal… a boy. Standing in the middle of the room.

Holding a rifle.

Melinda freezed on her spot. _Oh, no no no. Not again, please no._

“Stop! You no move!” The boy bellowed with broken English from across the room. “You move, they dead!” He said, pointing at a group of tied people on the ground next to the door. Daisy saw Fitz also sitting there with both hands and legs tied.

“Hey, kid, let’s calm down, okay?” Daisy started. “One of them is my friend, please drop the weapon,”

“Let me handle this, Daisy,” Melinda whispered. “I need you get Jemma on the plane and call the local police, got it?”

“But, Mel,”

“I said, got it?” Her tone left no room for argument.

“Yes.” Daisy answered begrudgingly and left the room. Surprisingly, the boy didn’t do anything about her.

“No talk!” The boy shouted. “You talk, I kill one!”

“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you, believe me,” Melinda said as she slowly walked towards the boy. “Please, I can keep you safe,”

The boy stepped back as she got closer. “Stop! STOP!” And he fired.

“No!” Melinda screamed. The person shot wasn't breathing anymore. It was a headshot. “Please, drop the weapon, I can help you,”

“No! Go away!” The boy flinched as Melinda got closer to him. “I kill more. No!”

“Please!” The boy shot again. And again. “No, stop!” Melinda was torn. Her tears started to leak. _Please. Don’t let me do it again._

But before he could shoot for the third time, a gunshot was heard and the boy dropped to the ground. With tears streaming down her face, Melinda approached the boy and cradled him in her arms, her back facing the door.

Minutes later, Daisy came back into the room with a bunch of local police, and was greeted with Melinda’s silent chant of, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, 对不起, 对不起,”

“Mel?” Daisy rushed to her side and gasped when she saw the dead boy. “Oh my, Mel you need to let him go. Mel,”

And she did. She let him go. Melinda couldn’t hear Daisy’s soft words filling her ears while they went down the stairs and out of the building. She could only hear the sound of the boy dropping to the ground, again and again.

Fitz was reunited with Jemma, traumatised by what he had to see in that room. Melinda was still chanting when they got outside.

“Melinda? You’re safe now. Everyone is safe now. Everything’s alright.” Daisy assured.

“No, it’s not. It’s not. It’s _–_ ” Melinda broke down sobbing. “I did it again, Daisy. I’m a monster. I’m a murderer,”

“Hey, no. Melinda. You’re _not_ a monster,” Daisy had no idea how to calm her down, she’s never seen her in this state before. “Sshhh. Melinda, you need to take a breath or you’ll hyperventilate. In, out. In and out, yeah like that.”

“Daisy… I ruined your mission. I’m so sorry,” Melinda started crying again. “I shot the boy, I had to. He was killing those people, I had to. I had to.”

“Oh, Mel. It’s alright.” Daisy replied sadly. “You can let it out. I’m so sorry.”

And that’s how Daisy found out what happened in Bahrain all those years ago; the failure of the mission, the heavy enemy fire, _the girl that she had to eliminate_ . _No wonder she was so broken and depressed_ , Daisy thought. _And to have everyone calling her The Warrior for killing a child. Poor Melinda._ To make things worse, the same thing happened again. The exact same thing in a different place. Daisy felt guilty bringing her out of her hiding place in administration. She never would have requested her if she’d knew that Melinda was happy there. If Melinda was a broken soul inside a perfect body, now she was a disintegrated soul in a broken body.

Melinda retired from the CIA a week later. She’s had enough of guns _and_ papers. She just wanted to help and save people. That was her goal when she joined. She never asked for any of those deaths. Certainly not for killing children. It was a choice, her own choice to make and she’s never going to make that choice the third time round. She never wanted for any of this to happen to her ever again. She have never asked for it, either.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. This is obviously loosely based on May's canon background from Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. Nothing here is mine, story and characters both belong to Marvel. 
> 
> Oh, and the boy was meant to speak with broken grammar. I enjoyed writing this one, especially the MayDaisy moments. Comments would be highly appreciated!


End file.
